Flicker Fusion

Whisk(e)y Your Way

Whisk(e)y Your Way

House Spirits distillery in Portland will let you make your own brand of whisky. You can’t sell it, of course, but you get to pick the grain and style of distillation and even the spelling (only philistines add an ‘e’). You end up with a 15 or 30 gallon barrel for about $50/bottle and they’ll even let you share a barrel with up to four friends.

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I just want to quickly note that the asshole who showed up at my hometown’s airport with a loaded handgun, rifle scope formulas and fake police siren is not a North Carolinian. This shit sucking lowlife is from Ohio. (Sorry, Ohio, I’m sure you’re lovely, but this fuckstick is giving my beloved North Carolina a bad name.)

And while we’re on the subject, I’d like to propose that we immediately start profiling anyone named McVey or McVeigh or any other homophone as domestic terrorists. Makes about as much sense as the racial profiling bullshit those idiots in Arizona passed last week.

Speaking from personal experience as one who has spent a fair number of hours in bars, there is a universal protocol for dealing with misplaced or forgotten personal items left behind by fellow patrons. Wallets, keys, phones, purses. Whatever. If you see something like that on the floor, or forgotten on a table, you pick it up and hand it to the bartender. If you realize you’ve lost something, you ask the bartender. Everyone knows this.

Speaking from personal experience as one who has spent a fair number of hours in bars, there is a universal protocol for dealing with misplaced or forgotten personal items left behind by fellow patrons. Wallets, keys, phones, purses. Whatever. If you see something like that on the floor, or forgotten on a table, you pick it up and hand it to the bartender. If you realize you’ve lost something, you ask the bartender. Everyone knows this.

—John’s entire analysis of this whole mess about Gizmodo and a lost iPhone is, as you’d expect, spectacular. This bit was my favorite, though.