He was mean, cheap, petty and unloved. He was the ugliest kind of bigot and a stain on America. Anybody who says different is a liar.

—Ken Layne’s eulogy to the late Jesse Helms, an embarrassment to my beloved home state of North Carolina if there ever was one.

Michael Bay’s rejected “The Dark Knight” script

“Pyrotechnics erupt in the distance. Guitar solo.”

Why have you people been keeping the bacon tuxedo from me?

Retiming traffic lights should help improve downtown traffic flow

Hey, awesome, Seattle, welcome to 1986!

101 Foods with Mark Bittman’s initials

My favorite, of course, is “Mmmm, bacon!”

Dear Kanye … in the spirit of rap therapy like “We’re All In The Same Gang,” I want to share a scene from the 1989 movie “Teen Witch.” This won’t be news—you know the power of hip-hop. This scene, though, really shows how rap can unite us and let us blow off steam without resorting to violence or caps lock.

—I’ve certainly disagreed with Sasha Frere-Jones in the past, but his reference to the single greatest scene in one of the more ridiculous cult classics of all time is probably enough for me to grant him the status of Best Pop Music Critc Ever.

Cognitive dissonance? It’s been a while since I’ve been to Sunday school, but I don’t remember a “thou shalt not ogle busty blondes” - maybe that was in all the red text that I usually just skimmed.

You may have read by now the official lie about this treatment, which is that it “simulates” the feeling of drowning. This is not the case. You feel that you are drowning because you are drowning—or, rather, being drowned, albeit slowly and under controlled conditions and at the mercy (or otherwise) of those who are applying the pressure. The “board” is the instrument, not the method. You are not being boarded. You are being watered.

—Christopher Hitchens, on the experience of being waterboarded.

What would Richard Feynman do? [via America’s radio sweetheart]

Yahtzee nails it. Again. Replace “web comic” with “blog” and you’re really on to something.