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merlin maybe if michael debakey had helped our

merlin:

Maybe if Michael DeBakey had helped our President lie instead of saving thousands of lives with his 75-year career of fucking tireless brilliance, hard work, and ingenuity, CNN might have seen clear to give him the top spot today.

Sorry, Mike, but no dice. But you’re definitely a strong second.

Y’know, Doc, maybe, instead of dicking around helping to reinvent our modern understanding of heart disease, cancer, and smoking risk, you should have learned to play “blues flute.” Also, what was with all that education, health policy junk, and surgical procedure shit? Seriously. Get a room, dude.

Anyhow. Tony Snow was on TV a lot and had a million-dollar smile. So. You know. Whatever.

Sorry, I’m not usually the corpse-desecrating type. But my monthly capacity for overstated conservative obits maxed out on Jesse Helms.

It amazes me that this has happened. It’s been almost 50 years since these songs were written, and they’re gonna have new lives. You don’t ever expect that in a lifetime. You’re very blessed if you have one “Hello, Dolly,” but to have “Hello, WALL•E” now is more than you dare to dream about.

It amazes me that this has happened. It’s been almost 50 years since these songs were written, and they’re gonna have new lives. You don’t ever expect that in a lifetime. You’re very blessed if you have one “Hello, Dolly,” but to have “Hello, WALL•E” now is more than you dare to dream about.

—Jerry Herman, who wrote Hello, Dolly, on the revitalization of his musical in WALL•E. What a refreshing sentiment, in this era of perpetual copyright and hyperinflated ego, that someone would just be thrilled that people get to enjoy his work generations later.