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I think it really is a shame and, quite frankly, not very much in the holiday spirit

I think it really is a shame and, quite frankly, not very much in the holiday spirit

—Sally McDonough, a spokeswoman for Laura Bush, referring to an “impeachement” ornament by Seattle artist Deborah Lawrence. The first lady asked members of Congress to have local artists submit ornaments for display on the White House Christmas tree. Lawrence’s ornament was the only one of approximately 370 submitted to be rejected.

But here’s the thing about buying a 3lb jar of Skippy peanut butter. No one has a knife long enough to reach the bottom, and you can’t just toss it out and open the other 3lb jar it was shrinkwrapped together with, because a) there’s like a depression or something in the news, b) why go all the way to Costco to save 50 cents on a year’s supply of peanut butter if you’re just going to toss it, and c) in fact, that blob down there is actually like half a regular jar from the deli; it only looks like a small amount because it’s at the bottom of a peanut butter bucket.

But here’s the thing about buying a 3lb jar of Skippy peanut butter. No one has a knife long enough to reach the bottom, and you can’t just toss it out and open the other 3lb jar it was shrinkwrapped together with, because a) there’s like a depression or something in the news, b) why go all the way to Costco to save 50 cents on a year’s supply of peanut butter if you’re just going to toss it, and c) in fact, that blob down there is actually like half a regular jar from the deli; it only looks like a small amount because it’s at the bottom of a peanut butter bucket.

—Greg Allen, on Costco