In a wonderful piece of service journalism, Defector’s Alberto Burneko reminds us to hold out a little longer for those caprese salads and BLTs:
But what of all these tomatoes, you are asking. This Safeway has tomatoes out the frickin’ wazoo. Surely this means Tomato Time is upon us. Do me, as well as yourself, a favor. Lift one of those so-called “tomatoes” to your face. Rotate it until you can find the produce sticker on it. Ah-HA! This “tomato” is from Canada (or Michigan)! Are you, at present, in Canada (or Michigan)? No, you are not. (Unless you are, in which case you can go to hell.) In fact you are several hundred miles away from those places. Do you know how a “tomato” from the vile frosted North came to appear at your local produce purveyor of choice, several hundred miles from the vile frosted North? Would you like for me to reveal this awful truth to you? Well I’m gonna, if you will chill out for one damn second.