In a perfect world, a few things would happen this weekend:

After partying, partying, partying on Friday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday, Sunday, Rebecca Black and all of her friends get to class Monday and realize they should have spent a little time studying, studying, studying (yeah!) and all fail their biology exam. That one kid’s dad takes his convertible Mercedes away from him for, like, a whole week.

After quitting UCLA over her racist YouTube rant, Alexandra Wallace realizes the reason she’s been tired so much is because she has mono. After several months of recovery, she enrolls in a local community college, eventually graduating with an associate certificate in elderly care. Her first job is emptying bed pans at a nursing home for Chinese-Americans.

Jimmy Wong gets laid. A lot.